7 Common Problems In A Relationship And How To Solve Them :
Coming in a relationship is easy but maintaining it for the long time is no piece of cakewalk. There are only few of us who could make it last forever , but have you ever wondered that how those ‘few’ are able to pull it off so long ? It is not just a mere stroke of luck but lots of efforts that go into the relationship to make it last long. The modern day relationships are plagued by several problems but getting through them isn’t that big challenge if two people are ready to invest equally in a relationship. So to reach the stage of ‘I Do’ , you need to set free your relationship from some of these common problems that might otherwise lead to breakup.
Detachment : Detachment is the mantra of the present generation . We all have had our fair share of failed relationships which abstain us from getting attached to people. Well, detachment may help one to steer clear of heartbreaks but it surely takes a heavy toll on the relationship . This is not to say that we should be overtly attached to our partners as it make us emotionally vulnerable but detachment is no good either as you are not only keeping yourself away from your partner but also preventing them from opening up or coming closer to you.
How to solve it : As the relationship blooms, start opening up to your partner and if you find it difficult then start with your little secrets rather than big ones. If you feel comfortable and get positive energy from your partner from these little disclosures ,then slowly start telling them more about yourselves while also encouraging the other one to open up. The idea is to let your partner know that you are capable of attachment so that they can feel secure and don’t regret the decision of coming in a relationship with you. A detached person may be successful in preventing heartbreaks but he/she is less likely to be able to maintain a relationship in the long term.
2. Lack of Real Communication : Now a days most of us prefer to chat over Whatsapp or other messaging apps. While messaging sometimes is fine but always chit chatting over messages should strictly be avoided as over messages , we talk to scores of other people as well which divert our focus from our partner.In fact , late replying to messages or sometimes not replying is one of the major reasons of conflict between the partners.
How to solve it : The real communication is when the two of you have each other’s attention completely arrested. Try to communicate in person , over phone or video chat where it is just the two of you . The best way of such conversations is that your focus is entirely on your partner . When you intently listen to what your partner has to say then it minimizes the misunderstanding and promotes better understanding .Besides, if you have had any argument with your partner, then don’t try to resolve it over messages as it leads to more misunderstanding and arguments. Also, try best to keep your phones away whenever you are with your partner . Always remember that 30 minutes of conversation over messages is equivalent to 15 minutes of conversation over phone or in person.
3. Jealousy : This is the most common problem of relationships. Sometimes, a mild jealousy is fine and even loved by us, specifically women, as it makes us believe that our partner feel protective towards us but over possessiveness or excessive jealousy can make the other person feel trapped and they may also start hiding things from their partners to avoid a scuffle .
How to solve it: Remember that your partner is not a possession that you have purchased. They are humans so accept it that it is perfectly normal to be close to other people as well. Don’t clip their wings , let them fly. If you give your partner their desired space, they will, on their own, will tell you everything about them, their proximity with others and even will introduce you with their pals of other sex. Also, remember this golden rule that by keeping your partner just to yourself , you can never come to know your real worth. It can only be come forth when you see your partner hanging out with other people , talking to them and yet yearning for your company. It is a triumphant feeling to know that you are irreplaceable, no matter with how many people your partner interacts with in a day.
4. Being Bored in a Relationship : Well have you ever wondered why our parents or grandparents never got bored with each other or even if they did, did they really fret over it ? It’s hard for present generation to shrug off this constant feeling that we may be bored with each other soon and then fall out of love. Part of this insecurity is fostered by movies which show that how two people can soon grow tired and weary of each other and then fall out of love or worse, end up cheating. While we may not convince directors to stop making such movies, but we can surely convince ourselves that if you are really in love with someone, you can never grow tired of them.
How to solve it : While convincing yourself may take some time, try for these little things to keep the spark alive in your relationship like by doing things that you used to do in the courtship period that made you fall head over heels in love with your partner like giving surprises , complementing each other, etc. While sharing things with your partner is a good thing but laying bare your soul completely may not be a sound idea as it may lead your partner to believe that there is nothing new left in you to discover , so always try to maintain that mysterious aura around you just like you did in the first or second date so that your partner is always curious about you. Also, try not to talk too much to each other like 3 hours daily, as that may lead to boredom and you may also exhaust the topics soon.
5. Lack of Understanding : You may be dating someone for years and yet there may be complete lack of understanding . Deep understanding is one of the pillars of the strong relationship. Now a day’s people are short tempered and are more likely to react quickly to an ugly situation rather than understanding the root of that situation. We have taken the meaning of ” Every action has an equal and opposite reaction” way too much seriously. Also, we all come from different family backgrounds so there may be friction between our core ideas and beliefs which again lead to poor understanding.
How to solve it : Has your partner ever suddenly shouted at you for no fault of yours ? How did you dealt with that situation ? If you have shouted back at your partner with the same ferocity with which they have done sans understanding the reason of the sudden burst of anger, then you are surely on the wrong track. Try to step into the shoes of your partner and understand that what led them shout at you. If it’s their habit, then don’t endure it, but if it is not , then it is imperative for you to understand the cause rather than reacting quickly as it may worsen the situation. Also, we should try to respect the opinions, beliefs and ideas of our partners, no matter how much different they are with ours. Remember not to belittle their opinions or laugh at them simply because you don’t believe in them. There are plenty of other, gentler ways of disagreeing with your partner. Try to adopt them.
6. Idolizing your partner : Specifically the younger lots, it’s high time to come out of the fantasized world and see the reality. We often idolize our partner in certain and unrealistic ways , thanks to movies, like believing them to be heroes who will fight with 50 people at one go to save you or believing them to be completely perfect, with absolutely no flaws. Such kind of unrealistic expectations not just lead to disappointment but can also damage the relationship.
How to solve it: Draw the line between reel and real life . There is nothing wrong in taking delight while watching romantic movies, but also understand that it is fiction and sometimes completely divorced from reality and logic. Embrace the fact that no one is perfect in the world . Having expectation from your partners is not wrong but setting unrealistic expectations is no good either.
7. Trust issues : The biggest problem couples face is their inability to trust their partners. While the blind trust is not advisable but not trusting your partner at all spells a doom for your relationship. Trust and understanding are the two strong pillars of every relationship and without them, you cannot make your relationship long last.
How to solve it : Firstly, identify the cause of it . Is it because of your ex who promised you moon and finally dumped you or because of your parents failed relationship? If you are unable to trust your partner because of others, then remember that everyone is different from each other and try to ascertain the fact that why those people around you have failed relationships, is it because of some unfavorable circumstances or their own error in judgment. But if you are unable to trust your partner because of their own faults like infidelity in the past or too much of lying by them then it’s best to confront your partner and let them know of your problem politely and gently . If you have given second chance to your partner then give them some time and opportunity so that they can build up your trust. And if you are the one who is not trusted in the relationship then instead of flipping out, try to understand the cause behind it and adopt the little strategies like don’t lie at all even the harmless ones, and say only those things that you are capable of doing ( actions speak louder than words ) so that your partner can count upon you. Stay consistent and don’t keep on changing your opinions frequently as it may trick your partner into believing that you are not trustworthy.